When the Thoughts Really Go Twisted!

This is my first blogging attempt on Google+. You can see the post here . But since I have a few loyal subscribers to my blog, I am going to publish the same here too. So here goes.

Sitting here, bored with my routine activities and figuratively being washed away by endless thoughts that have crowded my mind and are relentless in breaking free. I am turning towards my word processor to type in an opening in my turbulent mind to free my thoughts in as streamlined way as possible. Am I stressed? Perhaps. Am actually in midst of a barrage of the most dreaded alliteration of anxiety, apprehension, awkwardness and alarm which has annoyed me so much now that I feel ants in my pants. By now you even get how terrible I am at alliterations. I like everyone find myself at crossroads of life all most all the time. I tackle most of them in a very decisive manner, bringing forward the lessons in Spirituality that I have learnt. The reason for success in those situations is that the failure aspect is not tough to deal with. I feel it is true for all of us, we get out of certain failures in a better way than we do in case of others.

Here I am now typing this post and questioning as to what makes these failures, whose very thought dreads us more than anything else in our imagination. And is there really an answer, a means of tackling this demon I have inside me. Stay calm, they say- really? Is that the best antidote you have for me? People do grave things when something of this magnitude happens to them and trust me asking them to stay calm will not help them for long. It is almost that they have reached a dead-end or something and they happen to find just one small opening of hope and they try to cling on to that. If they are lucky enough they get through that seeming dead-end to a world where their spirits are high like a hot air balloon filled with hope. If however they are not able to get past the dead-end they feel shattered, they come out of that place waiting for another chance if it comes at all. They hide behind excuses and what not complaining about what is happening in their lives. The complaints are not expression of frustration, it can be other way around, the complaints may be the reason they went after that small hope at the dead-end. We all run behind that tiny glimmer of hope like mad men competing to add that sparkle in our seemingly dark lives.

So, what does it take to make a failure so strong that it is just unbearable? When the failure is related to our means to live a comfortable life, that is when I think it is most painful. For students or aspiring students in countries like India, they are those dreadful competitive exams where for one seat there are hundreds and thousands of students competing and all dive in for that less than 1% chance of a seemingly better life in the future. For job aspirants it’s getting a job they desire with all the parameters and again the rat race and the fear and anxiety of failing and being labeled if not by others explicitly than by ourselves as, “Good for Nothing”. The funny part is, none of us want that, at least that is what I feel. I mean, who would want or rather not want to have a peaceful life with less anxiety and fear. The feel of fear is not good, if it is with us all the time it propels us to do things that are humanly impossible. Problem is that it comes at the very end – when the you really cannot do anything and are help less.

Well, for now, I have a good news and a bad news. The good news is that the anxiety and my somber mood has sobered down; bad news is that it is temporary and will again show up, if not in my head may be in yours

Until then, cheer up and enjoy the mighty thought flood, don’t worry you cannot drown in something internal