Few days back while travelling to office via Delhi Metro; after the usual rushing into the train to grab a seat, I took out the book (It’s Not About the Bike – Lance Armstrong) I was reading then. With my hand searching my bag for the book my eyes scanned the fellow passengers who were getting in the train one after another in what seemed an endless trail. Amongst all this, I saw a girl with what looked like moist cheeks and puffy eyes. I was pretty sure that she was crying and that too for a long time; before I could catch a proper glimpse of her, she disappeared in the crowd. By the time the train started I was ready for my 50 minutes long journey on a two seater that we find at the end of the Delhi Metro Coaches. While reading the book I glanced to my left to notice that the girl was standing next to me, she was not facing me. I could see her properly now, not giving into the sight I continued reading. All of a sudden I hear her gasping, this time she was on the floor of her train, sobbing. I got up and asked her to sit in my seat; she refused, I said, “I am not asking you, I am telling you to sit here”. I knew she won’t argue, she had other things to be worried or feel sad about than someone offering his seat. As expected she sat down kept her head down on her lap as I stared at her for few moments and went back to reading.
I am sure we all have cried and have been terribly sad over innumerable things and happenings in our lives. This girl was one of us; I didn’t ask her why she was crying or tried to reason with her but at the same time I felt that whatever she may be grieving on will any way not last for long (just like everything in the world). We have all made a shell around ourselves, a, what we feel as a protective covering and when this shell gets punctured we become sad, cry and become remorseful. You can think of this shell to be made of things that makes us happy or makes us feel wanted and no matter what happens we want to be surrounded by stuff that makes us happy. The shell when shattered or punctured makes us insecure and we mostly give into the situation. We lose our control, intelligence and do things we all mostly repent later. Insecurity is perhaps the worst thing that can happen to us and we all suffer from it almost all the time. This feeling of being vulnerability is because of lack of faith we have on ourselves. I lost perhaps the most important person in my life because of this very feeling and I repent every now and then. At the same time the feel of self belief comes and I come out of it.
We all are insecure about every small thing that perhaps defines us and makes us who we are. The songs we hear, the way we look, the achievements, the failures, the list is endless. In short we can be insecure about everything associated with us. To get rid of this seemingly incurable problem I looked at perhaps the most confident individuals in the world, “Children”. Children have seen less failure hence more confident, they just want to enjoy each moment of their lives playing, cheering laughing; even their cry lasts for few minutes as they start smiling and laughing at the very next amusing thing they see.
While running my mini marathons during weekends, I am joined by some kids running with me or perhaps in the opposite direction, few of them run almost for the full duration with me. They breathe hard, they get drained but they keep their small legs running. I encourage them by slowing down once in a while letting them take the lead which makes them happy as a broad smile appears on the face and when they tire I take the lead pulling them. Most of the time seeing this, the older guys start moving their legs a little and jog on their course. Those kids do not feel vulnerable, when they start running it feels like they’ll run forever with grace and happiness because they love every bit of it. Kids do not think before taking a pencil in their hand and drawing what they see or write what they feel. They may run fast and erratic without discipline, they may make the most bizarre drawings or write something that neither affirm the grammar of the language nor rhyme but they are better than everyone who have stopped running because they feel they are too tired of bench work they have done, better than everyone who stopped drawing because someone told them they cannot draw a straight line and better than everyone who feel they are educated but are at loss of words when they take a pen in their hand.
We all were kids and trust me we all were ideal human beings, but we have lost our way, have become conditioned by the tastes of what we have termed success and failures. We fear defeat more than death at times. We just need to have the wisdom that we or anything we have will not last forever and that its just going to make you a better and a stronger human being and not an insecure and vulnerable loser.
Cheers To Life and all it provides! Ad Astra per Aspera!